Looks like you've got it under control to me ...

... control ...

Impressed by her gaze, and wondering what it was that was in his direction that she was looking at, he moved around behind the back of the guitar performance stool and pulled his chain mail down over his bottom.

Thank god he had found the chain mail in the nick of time. His previous idiom of camouflaged jean claude van-damme-esque jungle warrior simply was not well enough clothed to handle this ... vision of ... erm ... loveliness?

The Iron codpiece was unfortunately a few sizes too small and sank loosely and inneffectively from his waist like a rowing boat full of uncomfortable hippos.

He drew his trusty portrait and waited for the inevitable onslaught.