Last on this today from me-- a HUGE difference is, are you hanging in with the person once you've said yer piece, and working through the resulting stuff, or dumping and going? My preference is obvious.

I try not to loose what I won't help handle. Can't remember the Biblical quote exactly-- what you loose shall be loosed, what you bind shall be bound...

And when it's uncomfortable stuff someone needs to hear, and in the context of a relationship that calls for people to deliver these words when appropriate, then it is important to make the time to catch the reaction fallout which has to come before the caring words can be integrated by the recipient. You have to be willing to take that freight for the honesty thing to work in relationships you care about.