Note to self: put labels on all pieces of furniture, eg., "chair", "table", "hot stove" lest Barry really hurt himself next time. Never had anyone mistake a tiny collapsible tea table for a chair before. You need to get out more, Barry.

Note to Jacqui: Next time Barry is your responsibility. Insist he sit on a sturdy piece of furniture marked "chair". Do not let him open ANY jars without checking with me.

It's a good thing he decided not to stay the night, He probably would have ended up in the oven or the bathtub.

Mary the $2 whore.

PS Should have known he'd be trouble. He is the only perason who has ever genuinely liked one of my gifts.