Very good

In the paper yesterday - Church notice

'Donations wanted to cripple children'

'All those young woman wishing to be young mothers - please meet the vicar in the vestry on tuesday evenings'

Did you know a corner in brickwork is called a quoin; the long face of a brick - a stretcher; the short face - a header; the hollow bit on top - a frog; those funny bits on the corner of a building holding up the roof - a corbel

I wish I had me elbows immersed in a meeting - easy life

And it's pub day

I had a ploughman's lunch yesterday - he was furious