Amen to both Jim and countess richard. Surely there can be no argument with that?

I know the stock answer is, "But I need to try out a song, and there's nothing like performing it in front of an audience," but that's daft. How often do you come across professional musicians 'trying out' new material?

Put simply, just practise. In the car, in the shower, in the middle of a field; anywhere but in front of an audience. When you've got it nailed, then trot it out in public. Put some work into the material and make it work for you, and don't expect the audience to be your 'sounding board.' And I've noticed that the terrible singers are the ones who never bloody improve. They turn up, time after time, and are indulged, and yet their performance shows no sign of even nudging the heights of the mediocre.

I know f*lk club audiences appear to be notoriously forgiving but that doesn't mean we're not sitting there sniggering or writhing inside. As someone who has run events, there are some turns that you slot into the evening's programme simply because they are so bog-awful it gives everyone a chance to go and have a pee and make for the bar. Much as I wanted to, I never had the balls actually to tell them, "No, I'm sorry, you've got Van Gogh's ear for music and you always will have. Take up mime." These days I might not be quite so 'inclusive'.

For potential newcomers, crap performances and carelessnes are a major turn- off, full stop.