Na' then...there's them that know, an' there's them that don't know...best of all, there's them that don't know they don't know! So jist tae keep ye in't picture like, Setterday nicht is on at the FILO as usual but! PERISH THE THOUGHT, you might enjoy it!
The last Setterday nicht we had wis a XZ%$((%^*! ...night and it threatens' to be the same again this Setterday...PERISH THE THOUGHT!
This is not on, we can not tolerate such success - two whole Saturday nights on the trot..............gadges coming here and enjoyin' themsel's...PERISH THE THOUGHT!
Please do not come if you your are likely to relax and enjoy yourself as the management will not accept responsibility, PERISH THE THOUGHT. And now, for some community singing! After three! One, tow,ehh?

One leg over my shoulder, two legs over my muuuuuduhffff88ffffff!

Perish the Thought!