Dear Shy & Secretive,

The McDonald-Eddy singing gnome couple don't live here, but I'll leave word with the House Brownies for them to stay away. They did send word by e-mail that the wayward one-shoed alky elf from God-Knows-Where got shipped home all right, but may be out of a job soon. Your elves, if they know him, might have to put in a good word for him, but I never got an actual name on the poor fellow.

Since I don't remember which address you were given, I've had a chimney installed in my Post Office Box, just in case. Give proper opening instructions on the outside of the package.

Thanks in advance! See you next year!

Your Grateful Santee,
Severn