It was Christmas day in the cookhouse
The season of good cheer
The soldiers hearts were merry
Their bellies full of beer
The pompous orderly officer
As he strolled around the hall
Called out "A merry Christmas!"
The soldiers answered "balls!"

This angered the orderly officer
And he swore by all the Gods
He'd stop their Christmas pudding
The ungrateful little sods
Then up spake a bald headed corporal
His face as bold as brass
"You can take your Christmas pudding
And shove it up your arse!"