I have an idea which will make me a multi-mega-super billionaire. And I am going to let all the MOABites have first chance at the IPO.

As I'm sure you know, a LOT of engineering goes into the making of toilet paper. It must be strong and absorbent, but soft and break down easily when wet (but not TOO soon!). Charmin and all sorts of TP companies have spent millions and millions of US dollars engineering today's toilet paper.

But I have come up with tomorrow's toilet paper. By analyzing the uses to which toilet paper is put (apart from its primary use, of course), I have found that it is also use for nose blowing, stopping minor bleeding, blotting lipstick and other things, and even to stop up bullet and other holes.

Velcro, as I certain you're aware, consists of two parts: the hooks and the loops (or velvety part). What I propose to do is to manufacture a toilet paper which uses the technology of the Velcro hooks. Not only will this be more cleansing, but it will facilitate all those "other" uses to which people put toilet paper.

Precisely HOW this will be accomplished is still a well-guarded trade secret, but I can assure you that there is a lot in this idea.

If you'd like in "on the ground floor," just let me know.