The typical Englishman finishes his breakfast of toast and MARMALADE, invented by Mrs Keiller of Dundee, Scotland, and slips into his RAINCOAT, patented by Charles MacIntosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
He walks to his office along an English lane, which is surfaced by TARMAC, invented by John Loudon MacAdam of Ayr, Scotland - or he drives his English car, which is fitted with PNEUMATIC TYRES, patented by John Boyd Dunlop, of Dreghorn, Scotland.
Before he acquired a car he used to travel to his office by train, which was powered by a STEAM ENGINE invented by James Watt of Greenock, Scotland.
In his office he deals with the mail bearing ADHESIVE STAMPS, invented by John Chalmers, of Dundee, Scotland, and makes frequent use of the TELEPHONE, invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland.
At home in the evening he dines on his favourite traditional ROAST BEEF from Aberdeen Angus, raised in Aberdeenshire, Scotland - and then watches an item on TELEVISION, an invention of John Logie Baird, of Helensburgh, Scotland - about JOHN PAUL JONES, Father of the United States Navy, born in Kirkbean, Scotland.
His son prefers to read TREASURE ISLAND, written by Robert Louis Stevenson, born in Edinburgh, Scotland, whilst his daughter plays in the garden with her BICYCLE, an invention of Kirkpatrick MacMillan, of Thornhill, Scotland.
It is impossible for an Englishman to escape the ingenuity of the Scots!
In desperation he turns to the BIBLE only to find that the first person mentioned in the good book is a Scot - King James VI, who authorised its translation.
He could, of course, take to drink, but Scotland makes the finest WHISKY in the world. Nearing the end of his tether he could uplift a rifle to end it all, but the BREECH-LOADING RIFLE was invented by Captain Patrick Fergunson, of Pitfours, Scotland.
Anyway, if he escaped death he could find himself injected with PENICILLIN, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming, bacteriologist, of Dervel, Scotland, or given CHLOROFORM, an anaesthetic first used by Sir James Young Simpson, of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anaesthetic his mood would not be improved if his surgeon told him that he was as safe as THE BANK OF ENGLAND, which was founded by William Paterson, of Dumfries, Scotland.
Perhaps, in order to get some peace, he should request a transfusion of guid Scottish blood so that he too would be entitled to ask -
"Wha's like us?
Damn few and they're a' deid!"

Eddie