I haven't tried the "stick" method myself yet, but it sounds worth a go! Does your partner notice or object to the presence of the stick or does she regard it as a stimulating and saucy accessory? I'm thinking that decorating the stick in libidinous colors might add to the whole effect. Whaddya think? Don't go with green! Reds, purples, and pinks are much more likely to produce a good reaction, but NOT polka dots unless she's really, really the suburban type and likes that sort of thing.