Soldier boy, do you enjoy
Good order in the session?
Does noise and talk force you to walk
And trigger your aggression?
Then go back with your regiment, get pleasure from the songs,
Playing with your privates and fiddling with your gongs.

Solder boy, do you enjoy
Beer and morris dancing,
Act the prat in a flowery hat
And call it life enhancing?
Morrismen from Huddersfield should stay well out of sight,
They all wear ladies' underwear and don't know how to fight.

Soldier boy, I don't enjoy
Weading what you wite
Your wantings and your wavings
Are Widiculous and twite.
Your wamblings are wevealing and you weally are quite barmy,
The highest wanking officer to gwace the Bwitish army.