That's not fair - complain to God

Is it wise to rob a horse?

I've just had my haircut for Ascot tomorrow - I look gorgeous

I'm hoping some mysterious Princess will wisk me away to her castle of looove; somewhere hot

Either that or Princess Anne will punch me and tell me to f orf

I'm going to be in a corporate box with it's own ashtray, free wet wipes and a view of the car park

Are jockeys really only two foot tall?