Pene, you learn (you already know) how to live with it, but it never "gets better". Whatever you've been told about the 5 or 7 (or 12) "stagesof grief", you'll find you can be in all of them during the same 2-second period, in no particular order, & off&on for years. Let your friends "take care" of you: visit for a day or 2, go to dinner, etc. There will be a "stage" when you actually FEEL the warmth & kindness they wished to give you & can help someone else with it. (I haven't known you for long, but it looks like you already spread that around.) For those who've wished there was some way they could give you a good return for the benefits they've received from your presence... I believe in God, Who Is good, so I say God Bless & keep you. Tw