Silent Night

It was my first Christmas alone. I'd just come through a brutal, two year divorce, and my ex-wife had my two young sons for Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve was always very special for me. Growing up, we celebrated Christmas Eve more than Christmas. At least, that's when we opened our presents. Being alone on Christmas Eve, still bruised from a traumatic divorce, was a new experience for me.

After taking my sons over to my ex-wife's house, I headed off to New Canaan. New Canaan is a small, picturesque New England town and was lit up like a set out of It's A Wonderful Life. A woman who worked for me, who I was in love with at the time (or at least in love with the idea of being in love with) said that she was going to sing Christmas carols at the ceremonial lighting of the Christmas tree in the town park. Not having any place to go and facing an evening alone, I decided to go over for the tree lighting. And to see her. As it turned out, I had gotten the time mixed up and by the time I arrived at the park, the tree was already lit and the carolers had all gone home. The streets were empty, and there were very few cars on the road. Everyone was home celebrating with their family and friends. It was a silent night.

Driving back to my empty house I took my time, following the narrow, winding roads through the countryside, and I was transfixed by the beauty of the night. With a full moon, and freshly fallen snow covering the fields and woods, all was calm, and all was bright. It was a holy night. Somehow I felt like I had risen above all of the turmoil of my life and was surrounded by the beauty of the heavens that clear night. I don't ever remember seeing the stars that bright. It was an experience unlike anything that I'd ever known, and my eyes welled up with tears at the beauty of it. It was one of those times when I felt loved beyond all measure. And I was filled with love for everyone who was gathering in their homes that night to celebrate the birth of Christ, or just to enjoy the gift of family and friends. I was alone, but not lonely.

Sometimes, we need to be pulled out of our daily routine so that we can truly see the beauty around us.

Have a beautiful Christmas Eve. And if you can, step aside and enjoy the silence.

Jerry