Well Reverend Green can you please exp-lain what went on?

M'lud, I was in the Billiard Room holding my balls, when Miss Scarlet walked in and commented on what big balls I had. She picked up a candlestick and used it as a cue and kept on striking my balls. So I got my cue out and started playing with it. It started with long strokes and eventually finished up with short strokes. Miss Scarlet was gasping for breath and making funny whining noises. All of a sudden she let out a loud gasp and slumpped to the floor. I was so tired I fell asleep instantly and came round the next morning with the police hovering over me. I don't remember a thing.