"Sixteen Thousand and Eight Legs"

She was just a harmless little gal
Eight legs and a tummy swell
Few days later and her kids did dwell
In my pubic hair

Seemed to dance all through the night
Do-si-do and alamand right
Must have been a strange, strange sight
In my pubic hair

(more stanzas go here--I can't be arsed)

If crabs were coins I would have riches
To go along with all my itches
But I killed the little sons of bitches
In my pubic hair

THE END