"Mary wants the impossible - a banjo player with a job and preferably one who behaves like Mr Wonderful - sits quietly until she needs a bit of attention and then treats her like a queen!"
Hey, now! I have a job, and I play the banjo. Jennifer is always quite happy when she has me "nice" her feet (meaning massage them).
Now, of course, the "sits quietly" doesn't apply when there are six banjos in the house, but everything else is as described.