Bodleian Library Broadside Ballads has this, at Johnson Ballads fol. 75: Note there are two more verses than in the versions posted above, and numerous small differences in wording. I had to guess at a couple of phrases that were barely legible, and I have marked these with (?).

JOHN APPLEBY. A Whimsical Old Ballad, Sung by Mr. Fawcett.

1. John Appleby was a man's name, and he lived near the sign of the kettle.
His wife was called Joan Quiet, because she could scold but a little.
John to the alehouse would go. Joan to the tavern would run.
John would get drunk with the women, and Joan would get drunk with the men.
Sing tol de rol lol &c.

2. John would spend his own two pence and Joan would spend her groat.
Joan would pawn her best jacket and John would pawn his best coat.
John set the porridge pot by. Joan sent the brass kettle to sell.
The money came readily in and they merrily spent it in ale.
Sing tol de rol lol &c.

3. Thou art a base hussy, says John, for selling my pewter and brass.
And thou art a cuckold, says Joan, for thy ears are as long as an ass.
I'll bang (?) thy back, hussy, says John, if you give me another cross word,
And for the (?) fury and vapours, I tell thee I owe not a t——.
Sing tol de rol lol &c.

4. John he was no great eater, and Joan she was no glutton,
And for to tickle their maws, they bought them a shoulder of mutton.
John in an angry mode took the mutton in his hand,
And out of the window he threw it, but Joan she was at a stand.
Sing tol de rol lol &c.

5. Joan she was at a stand, but of it she made no matter,
Immediately took in her hand and after it threw the platter.
An old woman coming by, and seeing the mutton lay,
Catched up the platter and mutton, and with them she ran away.
Sing tol de rol lol &c.

6. The neighbours came running in, and thinking to end the quarrel,
But before they had half done, they left ne'er a drop in the barrel.
They banged the barrel about, pulled out the spigot too.
We'll all get drunk tonight for what have we else to do?
Sing tol de rol lol &c.

Published Novr. 20, 1805, by Laurie & Whittle, 53, Fleet Street, London.