The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #19024   Message #192295
Posted By: GUEST,The Beanster
08-Mar-00 - 11:55 PM
Thread Name: BS: I don't know what to say
Subject: RE: BS: I don't know what to say
Spaw did say it all. We do need to find a way to rescue kids from moms who don't want them or can't take care of them. Kids who are neglected and/or mistreated especially between 0-3 yrs are at enormous risk for becoming conduct disordered teens and antisocial adults. Since these babies have experienced the world (a world, for them, from which there is no escape) as hostile and unsafe at such an early age, they cannot form an attachment to their caregiver (usually, Mom--who's supposed to provide love, safety, etc.) and therefore, that attachment is never globalized to other people, animals, etc.--or even themselves. Since their world view is one of misery and mistrust and they feel victimized and misunderstood, they tend to make the first strike and can become predators.

I always feel terribly sorry for well-meaning folks who are dying to be parents, so they take a trip to the former Soviet Union (or wherever) adopt a baby they know nothing about, or a toddler who is already showing signs of behavioral problems and they think that all the child needs is enough love and he/she will be alright. Attachment Disorder does not go away. Most often, the damage is done and cannot be undone.

This idea the Germans have sounds alarming at first, but this is such a horrific situation with all these babies either neglected, abused or left to die. If they find that this will save kids' lives, more power to them.