I meant to write, "I agree the vacuum is an experience -- like childbirth itself -- that seems harder than you could have imagined. But there are scvores and hundreds of alternative communication channels, engagements and commitments for you to put your energies in to once the kids claim their own sovereignty. This is WHY you raised them, after all -- to live their own lives. A good role model will continue to show how the next wave should be taken by rising to the channel. My MIL, 84, is a widow and keeps a medium size house up. She has hundreds of friends and belongs to numerous groups from Opera to dog rescuers. She never runs out of interest in the world and the things going on it. Start building your next phase."