Well, apart from these so-called "GUESTs" running away with such a serious subject, let me just say the the police and members of fire departments don't sit around and debate whether a call is authentic or not. They respond and respond as though the situation is exactly that which was reported. And so too here. My experienced advice stands. Your one and only duty right now is to the safety of your son and yourself. Everything else can be worked out later. This goes for anybody who is in an abusive situation.

Jacqui is right. Abuse usually begins very subtley and is almost always psychologically controlling. The abuser seeks to isolate his or her victims. Shame can be a powerful component or tool to this end, hence the messy house that he will not tolerate being cleaned. The abuser himself is probably unaware of his tactics because this behavior was learned in their own abused childhood. Only a psychopath would intentionally set out to be abusive. The neurotic abuser can, however, slip over into the pyschotic side of things and then there is extreem danger...this is why you can't take chances or make believe and it is also why you should ignore any other advice to the contrary.

I hope you find the strength to do the right thing. This goes for anyone in an abusive relationship and it can and does happen to males also.