Roger the Skiffler: I know, seven years is a long time to wait ... but it's the magical period that has to elapse in all fairy tales, right?

So, here you are. All honors to you for the title and the idea. Hope you're still reading threads, coz here it comes.

(Yes, Sorcha, I was wondering about the logistics of those trousers or lack thereof, too.)

Bob

YOU GET NO BRIDE WITH ONE LOST BALL

A little man he scratched his head, to find a place where he might wed,
And afterward a lovely ball, with cakes and wine for one and all,

Cho1:        One and all, one and all, With cakes and wine for one and all.

The wedding it was very posh, he and the missus hitched, by gosh,
He really hit the alcohol, and got into an awful brawl,

The little man he got quite tight, with his new wife he picked a fight,
He got so tiddly he went mad, the thing he did was very bad, Very bad ….

He got into an awful brawl, attacked his bride, her friends and all,
While sitting on his wife's friend's face, she bit him in a dreadful place, Dreadful place…

Their flat was in sheer disarray, his ball had disappeared, they say,
Had she swallowed it? Not at all, they found it over by the wall, By the wall…

They took him to the hospital, they could not reattach the ball,
The doctor said, the alcohol saved you from death from that pratfall, That pratfall…

His wife got on her highest horse, she said, I'm filing for divorce,
The patients heard her down the hall, You get no bride with one lost ball, One lost ball…

The little man felt very bad, just one ball was all he had,
And in his dreams he hears her call: You get no bride with one lost ball, One lost ball…