The truth is that in violent confrontations, the first person to land a strike is usually the one who prevails. And if your survival depends on getting a can of hairspray to go off in someone's eyes, you're chances of survival are not very good.

And, Becca72, when you are attacked, you get a rush of adrenalin and related chemicals that impairs your fine motor control, and restricts your field of vision, and, gives the sensation that your legs have been knocked out from under you--you're going to be hardpressed to get that elbow line up with anything, let alone the bridge of an attacker's nose.

No matter how well you have been trained in martial arts and self-defense, when the violence begins, all bets on the outcome are off.

The ways to avoid being a victim to violence are simple, and not violent(simple but not necessarily easy):

1) stay out of reach,
2) learn how to keep confrontations from escalating ,
3) minimize your exposure to dangerous situations,
4)When you are going to be exposed, have your escape options planned in advance.


I have a lot of concern for Anonymous Guest--by all appearances, she is married to a dangerous, volatile, individual, and is the victim of both physical and psychological abuse. Yes, it is wrong, and no, she doesn't deserve it. (Just in case some of you think I somehow or another am defending her husband, I'm not)--

He is troubled (and trouble), and innocent things set him off--my concern was that even after twenty years, she still didn't realize that she had put herself in a perilous situation--the result being that he got the drop on her.

Twenty years of marriage, a home, and a child, are all incentives to "forgive and forget" and ignore the implications--especially since the ways out of this dangerous situation are not clearly marked or easy to negotiate. AM, please remember to get and keep yourself, and your son, out of harm's reach--