Cat's Got A Credit Card
Lyrics: Genie
Tune: Cat's In The Cradle (Harry Chapin)

A charge card arrived just the other day
With other junk mail in the usual way.
Said, "We'll help you out if you've got bills to pay!
Just sign the card and then charge away!"
And the dumbest thing of all was the way it came:
They'd put it in my kitty cat's name, folks,
The card was in Messiah's name!

So my cat got a credit card from Queensland Bank,
Little more than a silly junk mail prank.
Since the card came, folks, would you believe
It's brought me tons of grief? Oy!
It's brought me naught but grief.

My cat charged ten mice the other day
He bought catnip and balls and some birds for play.
"Where'd you get all this loot from?" I said "Oy, vey!
Did you see it on the telly and just charge away?"
And as he purred away with a Cheshire grin,
I thought, "Somethin's goin' on with him, yeah
Something funny goin' on with him."

Well, my cat's got a credit card from Queensland Banks.
Little did they know he's a twelve-pound Manx!
How'd you get that card, cat, and how'll you pay
For kitty treats and fillet, hey,
And a pillow for to sleep all day?

Well, without my knowledge just the other day
Messiah charged a man toy to chew away,
Bought an Audubon clock so he could hear the birds
And say, "They sing pretty well but they don't know the words,"
And he could practice all his stalking of his avian prey.
Now the bank is telling me I'm supposed to pay.

Since my cat got a credit card from Queensland Bank
My checking account's in the septic tank!
Bills are comin' due now and I don't see
Why they should be coming to me, cat,
It's nothing to do with me!

The bank finally called, took the cards away,
The cat's and mine, and I've got to say
It seems unfair to blame me for that.
Because you're the bank that issued a card to a cat!
You really should've done a more thorough background check
And you'd've known he was a fiscal wreck, folks,
His math skills are a total wreck!

And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
They'd been taken in just like me.
My cat made a fool of me.

So my cat got a credit card from Queensland Bank
Little does he know he's got me to thank.
Now we're in the poor house, but he's OK.
They didn't take his catnip away, folks,
He's lying there purring away.