There was Jean there was June there was Janet there was Jenifer
and Jane and Joyce and Jaqueline and Juliet and Joan.
There was Lily who was silly, there was Bessy who was messy
There was Annie with her Grannie, and Fannie on her own!
And they all stood around looking rather inefectual
their feet close together and their bottoms to the wall.
Some were thick, and some were intellectual,
while some were fairly sexual and others weren't at all

There was Clair there was Chris there was Connie and Clarissa
Cecelia and Charity and Caroline and Kate.
There was shrinking little violet who doesn't want to marry yet
and Podgy little Harriet who can't afford to wait!
Clarissa, you could kiss her. You could meddle with Melissa
and vanessa you could press her and caress against the wall.
You could have fun with Nicola, but if you tried to tickle her
you'd end up with Virginia who wouldn't do at all.

There was Thora, Nora, Dora, Cora, Flora and Feclicity
Who's sweetness and simplicity enchanted one and all.
Though I fancied every one of them, I ended up with none of them.
I went home on my bicycle from Phil the Fluter's Ball!

From the Two Ronnies (Barker and Corbett)