The lobster and the crab were deeply in love until one day she sobbingly confessed that she was a Princess and that her father, the king of the western lobster nation had arranged her marriage to a Prince from the eastern reefs.
"Daddy says we must part and never see one another again. He says you are too lowly for us; you are but a crab and you walk - - - - - - - - - - SIDEways!"

Sobbing hysterically, the Princess swam away.

The day of the wedding dawned and lobsters from all over arrived at the cathedral, which was packed.

Just as the Cardinal fish was proposing the questio: Does anyone have an objection as to why this couple should NOT bejoined in Holy Matrimony". the doors burst open - - - - it was Crab!

He stalked in and eyed the congregation menacingly, swaying ever so slightly.
He then marched slowly, but puposefully up the aisle toward the bridal couple.
Suddenly everyone in the cathedral drew in their collective breath in an astonished gasp of shock - - - - the crab was walking straight ahead - - FORWARDS.

He reached the dais, looking up at the love of his eyes. Glared at the incipient groom and turned to glare balefully at the king himself.

He took a srep forward and, looking the the king straight in the eye he said - - - - - - God, I'm pissed!!!

Sorry. I signed off before sending this one but just HAD to come back with it.

Muttley

Maybe this will redeem me

I LOBSTER and   NEVER FLOUNDER

I was the cook. She was the waitress.
Down at Harpoon Harry's Fish Cafe
And somewhere between the Clam juice;
And the Seaweed Salad,
That little Shrimp just - - lured her away.

CHORUS:
Oh I Lobster and never Flounder
He wrapped his line around her and they drove off in his Carp
Oh I Lobster and never Flounder
I Octopus his face in; Eel only break her heart

I said "Just Squid an leave me for that piano Tuna
If you wanna Trout someone new
She was the Bass I ever had, no my life has no Porpoise
Oh my Cod, I love her, yes I do

CHORUS

I Oyster love that girl: She was pretty as Marlin Monroe
But now I'm Whalin' out this Tailer roe
That little Shrimp just Flathead her and lured her away
An I'm Whiting to see if Shell return or no

CHORUS

The tears come to my eye: They fillet to the Bream
Each time I Mullet over in my head
I'm in a stse of Shark and feelin blue-bottle*in my hand
Well I'm so fin it's a Mackerel I'm not dead

CHORUS



*Bluebottle - venomous sea jelly known colloquially as a bluebottle in Australia: elsewhere known as the Portuguese Man o' War

Mutt