Jokes aside, my suggestion above is sound. Nothing convicts a rigid fundamentalist of their own sin better than inviting them to actually think about the implications of the Gospel-- and they are not often invited to actually think in a friendly fashion, as you might expect. Oh, they can foam at the mouth while quoting "Smite 'em" Scripture right back atcha, but smilingly repeat the reassurance that Christ died to relieve all that burden of having to smite and, instead, gave his folks a much bigger and harder job-- that love thing. It'll get 'em eventually as it sinks in.

Or you can always ask them what Gospel-love they have forgotten to offer while distracted by the excuse-from-ministry that hatred represents, and sympathize with them for having temporarily been distracted from their Gospel job by Ole Satan's tricks drawing them to the ineffectual side of trying to work salvation by violence.

Another approach is to remind them that they no longer have a right to be right-- that's a right they gave up in the bargain of taking Christ's atonement for themselves, you know. Oh yeah-- when you accept that deal, you give up personal rights in favor of a higher value-- the privilege of service to the Gospel. Takes the piss right out of righteous anger and replaces it with humble gratitude.

None of these approaches work if tried in a tone of your own judgementalism, of course-- that's just aiming never-ending ego back and forth through opposing mirrors, as well as reviving old hurts. No, you gotta offer them a hand. Try for a friendly attitude of, "Oh, sorry you fell down, old man, let me help you back on track and you'll get it all sorted out on a jiffy."

THAT is the hard part!

~Susan