My current favourite is the Irishman who always orders 2 pints of Guiness in his local. One day the bartender asks him why and he tells him that his brother has gone to America but wherever they are they always buy a pint for the other brother.So, one day he comes in and only orders one pint " Ah, Jaysuz" says the Bartender, " I'm so sorry about your brother" " Not at all" says the man " I've given up drinking"