This IS, indeed, the greatest thread ever.

First, I found it hard to believe that anyone would need kazoo instructions.

Then, I began to see how difficult it can be to provide written instructions for this particular activity, as opposed to a live demonstration.

Mo: assuming that you haven't been putting us on all along ~ that is, that you were truly unable to play a kazoo that worked perfectly well for your husband ~ I think you two really need a good marriage counselor. If hubby couldn't teach you this very simple procedure in person more easily than JohninKansas could write it out, well then, in the words of Cool Hand Luke, what we have here is a serious failure to communicate!