What does the word God mean to me? It means the very means by which I changed from being a heavy smoking, heavy drinking, swearing, womaniser into the person I am now and I quite like me as I am. I hated myself for the things I did before 1991 when I was zapped by God. I am not perfect now and no person who claims they are Christian is! We all fall short of the Glory of the Lord and all say and do wrong things at times but we are working, or should be working on ourselves to become perfect in His sight.
Before becoming Christian I had for years felt an unfulfilled emptiness in my life in spite of a 'full' living lifestyle. That 'gap' has been filled and no-one can convince me that God does not exist or that Jesus does not love me for who I am. Answers to prayer and events that happen in my life could not do less than convince me that there is someone out there much bigger than me.
There is someone out there bigger than all of us even though some of us don't know it yet.
Seek your own truth and believe what you want to believe but at least keep seeking.
Best wishes, Mike.