The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #98158   Message #1946513
Posted By: GUEST,Bob Coltman
24-Jan-07 - 08:32 AM
Thread Name: Lyr Req: Sixteen Tons - parodies
Subject: RE: SIXTEEN TONS - Any parodies?
Back in 2001 I wrote this piece of toxic waste, in honor of our stewardship of the planet:

SIXTEEN TONGUES

c 2001 Bob Coltman

I was born one morning in an undrained sump,
Luxurious life on the toxic waste dump,
I'm a candidate for the next Noah's Ark,
I'm radioactive and I glow in the dark,

I got sixteen tongues, I ate up your pet,
That's all the explanation you're goin' to get,
They want me for the movies, but I cain't go,
I owe my soul to the nucular snow.

I was born one mornin', Daddy said, what a shame,
Mama, don't bother to give it a name,
Just fling it out back, an' toss it a bone,
If it's any damn good, it can live on its own,

If you see me comin' you're already dead,
If you hear this song it will damage your head,
Saint Peter won't call me, but that's just as well,
Too horrid for heaven, an' too pretty for hell.

Just for completeness I include an alternate second verse I don't usually use:

I was born one mornin' in a solar eclipse,
Three-legged, hunchbacked, my face all lips,
I was raised in the cellar by an old mama mouse,
She taught me to dig, I dug outa the house,