Some things I have learned from American Idol:

It doesn't take talent to get on TV.

You don't have to be crazy to be on TV, but it helps.

Where talent is slim, begging. pleading and tantrums are sure to work!

If you sign a waiver to be on TV, everything you say and do can and will be used against you in the court of public humiliation.

CocaCola is a mighty fine drink to have while you are watching people try to cope with reality perception problems.

Talent scouts must exist in the ratio of 66.7% AH's to 33.3% sweethearts!

Buy a Ford and you will succeed.