Irishman: "Nice dog you got there, Jimmy. Mind if I speak to him?"
Scotsman: "Ach, yer daft. My dog doesn't talk."
Irishman: "Hello to ya, Master dog, and how's it going this fine day?"
Dog: "Goin' alright."
Scotsman: Look of shock!!
Irishman: "Is this Scotsman your owner?" pointing at Scotsman.
Dog: "Yep."
Irishman: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "He treats me jus' fine. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me to the river once a week to play."
Scotsman: Look of total disbelief.
Irishman: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Scotsman: looking a bit tentative, "My horse doesn't talk."
Irishman: "Hello there, horse, and how is it going for you today?"
Horse: "Couldn't be better!" exclaimed the horse joyfully.
Scotsman: Extreme look of shock!!!!
Irishman: "Is this your owner?" pointing at Scotsman.
Horse: " 'Tis"
Irishman: "And how does he treat you?"
Horse: "He treats me very well, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Scotsman: Total look of utter amazement.
Irishman: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Scotsman: "Now that sheep's a liar."