The Taglag was Ok, but as it's nearing the end of the afternoon I think it's time to move up a gear.

Helicopter pilot - make haste to Stockport and bring me back a pint of Old Tom...

... no, as you were. Make that a gallon, please. I may well fancy a few more pints this evening, and I'm thinking of the environment. The fewer flights, the better it is for global warming.

And while you're up there, a packet of Seabrook's plain crisps, please.

Now, make it snappy - a bloke could die of thirst round here!