Who IS Shane?
Who is he?
Only one can be real
Which shall it be?

Yeah, well, it ain't great poetry, and I never thought anyone would want to steal you-know-who's identity. I mean, why??? fer God's sakes? And then he converted and became a man of God, dedicating himself to the religious life. And not just any religious life, the hardest one around. No talking, not even being able to leave the confines of the Abbey much less look at a pretty girl! And now, when the New Shane is on his way to Madagascar some punk comes along and tries to steal his old, unrepentant, identity!

How low can some people go, anyway?