Tapwater? I must be mad. I could have had the most expensive poncey mineral water from some foreign country, flown here at great expense.

Ah well, at least I was doing my bit for the environment.

Tell yer what - I'll have a pint of the original Ruddles County, from Rutland, 5% abv, vintage 1975 or thereabouts. Not to be confused with the stuff sold by Greene King under that name, which bears absolutely no resemblance whatsoever to the original stuff, apart from the sadly abused name, which is an insult to a great beer.

...ahhhhhhhhhhh, that's good stuff, just as I remember it. I'll have to try a few more of these ales from yesteryear.