To the tune of "A Policeman's Lot" by Gilbert and Sullivan

The proportions of a woman that appeal to men's depravity
Are constructed with considerable care.
And what at first appears to be a simple little cavity
Is, in fact, a most elaborate affair.

Now doctors who have studied this feminine phenomenon,
From many experiments on dames,
Have taken all the portions of the feminine abdominon
And given them the most delightful Latin names.

There's the Vulva, the Vagina, and the good old Perineum,
And the Hymen which is, sometimes, found in brides.
And there are many others you would like if you could see 'em,
Like the Clitoris, and many more besides.

Now isn't it a pity when we common mortals chatter
Of the mysteries to which I have referred,
That we use for such an interesting, complicated matter,
such a short and Anglo-Saxon little word!


Words attributed to Arthur, Lord Tennyson.

Colyn.