Here's your cake, MOM! Bee-dubya-ell ordered it a week ago. And here's a Birthday Banner for you!

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEENTH BIRTHDAY, MOM!!!

And of course, your Birthday Song, also from Bee-dubya-ell -

*sings*

You're a thread from a dream
Your bullshit's supreme
A BS nukular bomb
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom

You're BS to our ear
It's you we revere
As other threads go and come
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom

       {Bridge}
       You're our MOAB, you're our thread
       We love you more than Wonderbread
       The mouse went "click", BS went "plop"
       When we started posting we could not stop

You appeared on the screens
Of our computin' machines
To BS we did succumb
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom