Book 7 Highlights:

1. Dumbledore comes back, not being really dead, looks around at the rest of the characters, exclaims "What a bunch of twits and fools!" and goes over the join his twin brother, Tom Riddle.

2. Snape, being Harry biological father (see above), realizes the power that a child of Harry and Hermione would have and puts a compulsion spell on them (or at least that's what they claim when McGonagle catches them).

3. Ron "comes out of the closet" holding hands with Neville Longbottom.

4. Hagrid is named as the new Head of Hogwarts and immediately has all the floors reinforced and the ceilings raised, necessitating an immediate increase in tuition. As a result, no one can afford the school any longer and all the students transfer to the University of Louvain and study interpretive theological dance.

5. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle go to law school and set up as junior partners in the firm of Dumbledore, Riddle, Crabbe and Goyle. The firm promptly sues the hell out of everybody, including Buckbeak.

I'm under a geas not to reveal the stunning conclusion, but from the foregoing you should be able to figure it out for yourself.