So what, then, is one to do? I try to cast my votes intelligently and spend my money so it stays as close to home as possible. I discuss these things with people when the setting seems appropriate. I agree about what the problems are but how to fix it?

I also agree that repeating the notion that it doesn't matter who you vote for only makes it worse. I'm not slamming, I think it is the absolute opposite of what you (Little Hawk) want to have happen and it's unlikely to have that affect here.
The electorate of the USA largely already thinks their votes don't count so why bother. Our turnouts are abysmal, especially for the local elections where a vote can have a real impact. The (mostly) little old ladies who work the polls really brighten up when I come in to cast my ballot in a county election.