Scientists are extremely concerned about the effects global warming will have upon polar snakes.

Polar snakes are an extremely important species because in following their annual migratory paths from the North Pole to the South Pole and back again, polar snakes leave subtle yet distinct trails which define the earth's longitudinal lines. If the polar snake were to become extinct, the logitudinal lines would dissapear. And since the force exerted by longitudinal lines is what holds the earth in its current spherical shape, their loss would result in the earth instantaneously springing into the shape of a cylinder instead of a sphere. Imagine a globe suddenly transformed into a Mercator projection. Greenland would suddenly swell to a size roughly equal to Africa. Greenlanders who live next-door to one another would awaken to find their houses separated by hundreds of meters. Antarctica would become a giant atoll surrounding a lagoon of empty space where the South Pole used to be.

Noted Japanese researcher Fitsuko Mibuyashi summed up the importance of preserving the polar snake population very succinctly:

"No porar snake, no rines of rongitude. No rines of rongitude, sairors get rost and not get to port. No sairors in port, bimbos and froozies not make money and overroad werfare system. Keep froozies emproyed, save porar snake."