Peter T., I'm one of those who has had music everywhere since in utero. I could hold my own in a 3-part round before I could speak a proper sentence etc. etc. blah blah blah. I am well aware that I don't remember what it was like to learn because I don't think I ever had that experience.

Yet, put me in a group of people less fluid with music than I am, and I'm happy, no, I'm delighted to take a few minutes to run through a song in slo-mo and freeze-frame as needed so everyone's with it to the best of their ability. It's easy for me, when I see someone who can't barre a Bm, to suggest they just skip it or lightly strum on D. IT'S OKAY TO BE A BEGINNER. I was just lucky enough to be a beginner before I could pronounce the word.

I don't find that this ruins any atmosphere at all. In fact, the atmosphere soars when everyone feels they've been shown a little respect for where they're at. Once the song gets rolling, the chances of a good old cookup are much higher when people know what to do in their tough spots. Basically, I do my best to impart the notion that the goal is fun and not perfection.

So, in conclusion to this rather lengthy post, if you find yourself feeling uncomfortable, there are 2 common causes of which I'm aware: 1. One's own perfectionism, and 2. the groups music to hospitality ratio is about 100:1. If you're sure it's no. 2, go find a new group, or talk privately with the formal or informal leaders. Sometimes people just don't know there's a problem until you tell them. If the reaction is negative, definitely time for a different group.

All that said, I bumbled totally in my hospitable intentions. It happens. No one threw me out. No one said don't come back. I learned from what I saw in the song circle and I'll try never to err that way again. I noticed it myself, and I'm sure I would not have enjoyed having it pointed out to me in a thoughtless way, but I'd still have learned.

$0.02 for you!

CH