Playing by ear: Ha! Well, actually I can (sometimes) but only to myself. I never risk it among others, for fear of getting it wrong and making an arse of myself. Why, since I've always sung by ear from being a child in the choir before having any formal music lessons? Why do I always have to write down a part to play on an instrument but not necessarily to sing it? I have a theory that there is a difference between the transference of a note from ear to vocal chords and the process of transferring that same note from ear to fingers. Does anyone else have this impediment or am I just terminally lacking in confidence?

It sounds as if it might be a confidence issue, countess - but I hope it's not terminal!

It's not quite the same thing, but my bugbear is forgetting the words of songs, rather than tunes. The other day, a fellow band member asked if I could play a particular song. I immediately started to play it on guitar, but said I'd need to re-learn the words, as I hadn't sung it for years (ooerr, probably about 30 years now I come to think about it!). She seemed surprised that I could remember tunes but not words. I in turn was surprised at her being surprised!

In folk clubs I normally sing the words from memory, like most other people, but occasionally at band gigs I have the words handy on a music stand, especially for songs we are asked to do as a one-off (perhaps for a special occasion). I sometimes think I'd be better off without the words there, because I find myself looking at them when I probably don't need to. I think this is a confidence thing - because the words are there in front of me, I seem to doubt my memory and want to check.

That aside brings me back to the questions posed by the countess. Maybe if you tried to play without the music, it would help you build confidence in your ability to do it. Perhaps you think you need the musci there, when you don't really?