Alright, ya buggas -- Here's my little ditty for this round:

The Dull And Boring Man
(Tune: The Rambling Irishman)

I am a dull and boring man,
I sit and watch the grass grow,
I pick my nose and then my toes,
And contemplate my navel 'O'.

But to live fast I could not endure,
Like the men in the other cubicles,
To a dull grey land I sailed away,
To count the rings on my cuticles.

Chorus:
Right dull, dull and grey, dull, dull and grey,
Right dull, dull and grey down to my toes-o

So here I live in tones of beige,
An off-white house and a tan car,
I have no green plants, only brown,
My coffee is grey like road tar.

I have a dog, it's stiff and cold,
No, it's not dead, just resting,
I have a bird that won't fly away,
It's too bored to be bothered nesting.

Right dull, dull and grey, dull, dull and grey,
Right dull, dull and grey down to my toes-o

I had a girl once, don't you know,
She was known as Snoring Sally,
But when I got up to hit the mark,
Not even her could I rally.

She cracked one eye open with surprise,
Then yawned about my purpose,
"Go back to sleep," she said to me,
"You're too dull to perform the service."

Right dull, dull and grey, dull, dull and grey,
Right dull, dull and grey down to my toes-o

So, here I sit eating English peas,
I place them on my knife-o,
It's such great fun to see them fall,
I count them as they roll-o.

But to greater things I do aspire,
When the springtime rolls around again,
Gazing at the maple trees in my yard,
What a lark when the sap starts drippin'!

Right dull, dull and grey, dull, dull and grey,
Right dull, dull and grey down to my toes-o