This reminds me of a song that I've known for a long time. More's the pity, I can't claim to have written it, in response to this song challenge or otherwise. But it goes:

Tobacco is a dirty weed.
I like it.
It satisfies no mortal need.
I like it.
It makes ya thin,
It makes ya lean,
It takes the hair right off yer bean.
It's the worst durn stuff I ever seen.
I like it.

I don't, by the way.

Dave Oesterreich