It will be gratifying, I'm sure, to the many friends of Shane McBride to know that Mr. McBride is not dead. The earlier report was the the result of a combination of things: what appeared to be blood soaking the back of Mr. McBride's head, the condition of his clothing, and the odour.

Upon arrival at hospital morgue, Mr. McBride was stripped and washed. When the stream of disinfectant solution touched him he jumped wildly from the morgue table and screamed, "HOLY FLIPPIN' FLIP! That's cold enough to wake the flippin' dead!"

Two morgue attendants, three orderlies, and a shot of valium calmed Mr. McBride enough to take him to a room and complete his washing-off. The material on the back of his head turned out to be not blood and brains, but raspberry jam. It is not know how raspberry jam got onto the back of Mr. McBride's head.

Mr. McBride is being held for observation and may be released momentarily. When he is released he will be charged with public intoxication and obstructing a public path.