No, you Buckeye bogtrotter. Spit valve indeed. Just what I'd expect from a state where tobacco is a food group. It's very wet in Northumbria, see, and these pipes are meant to be played under water. It's sort of a snorkel effect designed to get one to the pub in the worst of weather so that one can get to that critical pint which allows to one to deaden his senses enough to believe that he's actually making a pleasant sound. Got that straight?