Actually, Gluon got lured into a Dianetics storefront and was given a free personality test. The results were very depressing to him -- his traits on EVERY SINGLE CHARACTERISTIC the test measured were ambiguous. IMagine! QUARK!

As a result, he spent several hours in uncertain misery, made a whole series of life-changing ambivalent decisions or not, and ended up running off to the Papaya Islands with Schrodinger's aubergine, which quite pissed the old man off. It is not that aubergines are prohibitvely expensive, but he'd had a lot of timespace invested in gettingthis one trained up/down/sideways. But really it serves Schrodinger right...after all, as ye reap, so ye shall so what, and all that. I think....

A