Boy have I got a song for you! Written from his own personal experience I believe...

LANDLUBBERS SHANTY - Bruce Watson (and a short MP3)

I'll tell you of a story, lads, that happened once to me
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
Of the only time that I went out upon the briny sea
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

As I went out one Sunday arvo on Port Phillip Bay
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
The captain said, "She's blowing, lads, we'll get some waves today"
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

My friends had all impressed on me how sailing was so easy
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
If it's that easy, excuse me asking why I feel so queasy?
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

While looking at the sea so green my face was getting greener
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
Whoops! I didn't make the side, so we'll have to call the cleaner!
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

The first mate & the Skipper said the boat was going beautiful
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
But I grew more in need of some assistance pharmaceutical
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

I wanted to be like those men at sea, who all go, "Arrrghh!"
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
But when I tried to go like that it seemed to some out, "Yeuargh"
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

The captain said, "Now heave that yard-arm mizzen to the tops'l"
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
I said "Bollocks to your bulwarks, man, you can stick it up your
fo'c's'le!"
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

Well, when we finally made for home, returning to terra firma
Heave, haul, ho, & open wide
I says, "The firmer it is the less terror it'll be", and went off
without a murmur
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side

The owl & the pussycat went to sea in a beautiful pea-green craft
Heave, haul, ho & open wide
But now I've had a go myself, I reckons they was daft!
Heave from your stomachs lads & chunder over the side